I don't really know if I'm feeling ready to write a faith-based post yet. I see that, including me, there are a total of two members so far... *snugs her Bek* So I don't really know how I feel. But, ah well,.. I can only hope more people join, whether skeptical or zealous, no matter what, hm?
I guess I'll start by saying this. I believe in God. I don't pretend to know or even have a concrete idea on what form God takes.,.. but I do believe. I was raised Baptist as a little girl, and until I was about 9 or so, I remember going to church most weekends. When I got older, my parents stopped going, and, well.. you can guess where that went. As a teenager, I remember being very confused about faith and religion, and, for a time, even going so far as to call myself atheist. Whether or not I ever truly was, I don't know.
What I do know is that, from the moment I first heard my son's heartbeat, at 13 weeks of pregnancy, I was convinced there was a God. There is something truly amazing about hearing the incredibly fast "whoosh, whoosh" of a fetal heartbeat that got to me in a way that I couldn't describe to anyone who hasn't experienced it. Knowing that there was a being inside me, growing, and that it was *alive*.. well, after two late-term miscarriages,... it just about knocked me dead from amazement. Now, please, don't get me wrong. In theory, I fall into the pro-choice category, although that is one choice I could never make. But, yes, I believe that life... or the potential for life, is present long before birth. If a fetus's heart beats, there is a very high percent chance that it will live to be born, barring other complications. I cried each time I heard my babies hearts beating for the first time.
I believe in angels. Again, I can't claim to have any knowledge of the form they take,... but I have had two children, and if ever there was a sprit I could call angelic in nature, it would be that of a newborn baby. I mean.. *freshly* born. Maybe it was the experience of the moment, (It wasn't the drugs... I didn't get any!), but in the moments immediately following the birth of my children, when they first opened their eyes and looked at me, I honestly felt a connection. Maybe it wasn't an angelic spirit there,.. but if not, it was seeing the soul. Seriously. The minute those eyes opened and looked into mine, I saw another being.. a very great and wonderful being. I can't accurately describe it, but I was in awe, scared, and so very much in love, all at the same time. When I want to see evidence of God's presence, I have to look no farther than my own children.. (yes, even when I want to throttle the older one.)
I find something interesting... in my life, I've often seen science at odds with religion. Some religious scholars say the world is only several thousand years old. Science says it's billions. The bible tells the story of creation. Science tells of evolution. The list continues,.. and always, people are at odds, going for the other idea's throat, so to speak.
Let me tell you... the more I learn of science, the MORE, not less, I believe in God. What we can do as people,.. the marvels of healing the sick, of growing new tissue and bone, transplants, .. what we will soon (I hope) be able to do to re-grow new organs even... all of that is copy work. None of it is original... how can I say that? Look at yourself. We RE-grow tissue to replace what is damaged. We TRANSPLANT organs. We heal the sick... but who made the original? Think about it. The greatest scientists in the world have yet to honestly create life. Yet living organisms have been able to reproduce and evolve for eons. I don't claim to know how life came about. If it hadn't,.. we wouldn't be wondering how it happened in the first place. But I do know that we can't use any of our technology to do it. I'm terribly grateful for the technology we have, and I'm going to school specifically so that I can help develop new technology to save lives and improve the quality of life for sick people. I don't consider that a bad thing, and I don't consider myself at odds with religion. I feel that I'm using the gifts God gave me (intelligence, desire, and opportunity) to do what I can.
The more I write, the more there is that I want to say. I may not post too much in the next week or so... I'll be busy for one, and two, I really want to take time and think about what I want to say, how I want to get it across, (and, truth be told, I want to be able to have some verses so I'm not speaking out of thin air here.) I'll also be gone in Florida for a couple weeks, from just before Christmas to just after New Year's. When I get back, though, prepare for a lot.